Bertie Crisp A short animation from the NFTSinfo@bertiecrisp.co.uk

Bertie Crisp

Characters

Bertie and Grace

Bertie and his wife Grace have lived in the ‘permanent residents’ section of an English seaside holiday caravan park for the past 8 years.

When Grace noticed that celebrities and a couple of people she knew were migrating to places like sunny Spain and Cyprus, she wanted to migrate too. It would, after all, be unfashionable not to. Unfortunately, unlike the celebrities, they couldn’t quite fund a move aboard. With Bertie being forced to solve the problem the couple ended up selling their house, buying a caravan and moving as close to a more tropical environment as they could… 24 miles down the road to the east coast.

Bertie is a bear in his mid thirties who’s never particularly aspired much further than his next sandwich or bag of chips. It’s not that he’s lazy – he just doesn’t seem to have the mental capacity, or knowledge that there could be something more for him in the world. Besides, he already has the full time job of trying to keep his wife happy… and with Grace as his wife, it’s no small feat. Bertie is an only child – his dad was a soft hearted panda, and his mum a grizzly
bear, so Bertie is quite used to having dominant women in his life. Grace is a pink bunny, who knows what she wants. Well, at least she thinks she does. From a family that reaches into the hundreds, Grace was not one to shy in the crowd and be ignored. She did everything she could to be in the spotlight over her many siblings. In Graces mind she is a sexy, strong, youthful beauty – who will surely become a celebrity some day. In reality, Grace is an overweight, bad tempered and possibly sociopathic, and someone who is never satisfied.

Bertie and Grace met in school. Bertie tried hard, but despite being sweet he was just too dim to excel at anything. Suggestible and easily distracted, it wasn’t long before Bertie longed to conform to the ways of the cool, naughty kids, who Grace happened to be the
leader of. Glad to have a new lackey to take the blame for their pranks, Bertie was taken into the gang, always remaining the scapegoat and clown of the group, but never realising it. He was too fascinated by the power Grace held, her daring and strength made him idolise her.
As the gang began to grow up some left for college, some for jobs, until eventually there was only Grace and Bertie left. It wasn’t too bad. Bertie got to be with the woman he idolised, and Grace enjoyed being treated like a Queen. Eventually Bertie proposed to her a year after they left school. Grace only agreed if she got a celebrity-style wedding.

Isabella and Geoff

Bertie and Grace’s next door neighbours Isabella and Geoff met through an online dating site one lonely Christmas. When the summer rolled around, Geoff plucked up the courage to ask Isabella to marry him. They sold their separate apartments and used the money to buy a house in a small village. Isabella helped out at the local primary school as a part time assistant and lollypop lady, and Geoff maintained his job as a senior manager at a tea pot factory.

On their first anniversary, Geoff took Isabella to their favourite park. When trying to take a picture of his wife against her favourite tree, Geoff moved back to get her in a wide shot, unknowingly backing into a road. Before Isabella could warn him he was run down by an ice cream van. Not being the bread winner, Isabella struggled with the hospital bills and the mortgage. It wasn’t long before Isabella was forced to sell the house. Luckily a sister-in-law offered to give her a caravan she owned on the east coast – she had been trying to sell the van and the plot for years, but something was constantly putting potential buyers off… And so she and Geoff moved to the van, and eventually, against all odds (and perhaps with the use of some… equipment) Isabella fell pregnant with Geoff’s babies, and gave birth to a litter of eight.

Isabella’s father was a successful lawyer, and her mother worked as his secretary.  Isabella has always been incredibly close to her older brother Sam. When Sam was 12, and Isabella 11, it became apparent that he had some sort of mental condition- he was unable to excel at school, often staring at blank walls, tying knots in things, and laughing when there was nothing to be laughed at. To Isabella’s distress, Sam was falsely accused of sexual harassment by the family cleaner and sent away to an asylum. A few years passed, and Isabella’s father was offered an incredible job in America. Isabella stayed behind, not wanting to leave Sam on his own. Sadly, she eventually lost contact with her parents, but still visits Sam when she can.

As a child, Geoff was quite the nerd. When he reached 18, his parents were sadly killed in a road accident (they were run over) causing Geoff to enter a ‘biker’ phase where he travelled around most of Europe. When funding ran out, he reverted back into a quiet little hard worker, but with a bit of an edge, and found work in a factory. Now in a catatonic state after his accident, Geoff is unconscious to the chaos that Bertie and Grace cause around him.

…Or is he?

 

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